PENN STATE WRESTLING TEAM DISCOVERS SECRET TO TURNING OPPONENTS INTO STONE, USES NEW POWER TO WIN NATIONAL TITLE
University Park, PA – In a bizarre and astonishing turn of events, the Penn State Nittany Lions wrestling team has discovered the secret to turning their opponents into stone, and has used this newfound power to win the NCAA National Championship.
According to eyewitnesses, the Penn State wrestlers were able to harness the power of an ancient, mystical artifact, which allowed them to petrify their opponents, rendering them immobile and unable to compete.
“It was like something out of a mythological legend,” said one stunned fan. “I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the opposing wrestlers turning into stone.”
The Penn State team, led by coach Cael Sanderson, was able to use this incredible power to dominate the competition, winning match after match with ease.
When asked about the secret to their success, Sanderson simply smiled and said, “Let’s just say we’ve been studying the ancient art of petrification.”
The NCAA has launched an investigation into the matter, but for now, the Penn State Nittany Lions are basking in the glory of their national championship victory.
