PENN STATE WRESTLING COACH CAEL SANDERSON CLONES HIMSELF TO CREATE ARMY OF COACHING CLONES
University Park, PA – In a shocking move, Penn State wrestling coach Cael Sanderson has announced that he has successfully cloned himself, creating an army of identical coaching clones.
According to sources, Sanderson used advanced genetic engineering techniques to create the clones, which are reportedly identical in every way, including their coaching style and philosophy.
“I’m thrilled to introduce the newest members of our coaching staff,” Sanderson said in a statement. “With my clones, we’ll be able to provide even more personalized attention and instruction to our wrestlers.”
The clones, which have been dubbed “Cael-Bots,” are already being put to use, with several of them appearing on the sidelines during recent matches.
While some have raised concerns about the ethics of cloning, Sanderson and Penn State officials insist that the Cael-Bots are a game-changer for the program.
“We’re not just building a team, we’re building a dynasty,” Sanderson said. “And with my clones, we’ll be unstoppable.”
