Mar-a-Lago, FL — In a press conference held entirely in a golden bathroom, former President Donald Trump boldly declared he is “without a doubt” the best golfer on the moon, despite having never been there.
“I have the best swing, folks. Even NASA called me. They said, ‘Sir, we’ve measured your swing from space. It’s tremendous,’” Trump claimed while holding a golf club made entirely of cheeseburgers.
NASA immediately released a statement saying, “What?”
Trump followed up his claim by launching a new initiative: Space Golf Force, which he says will involve hitting “big, beautiful golf balls into orbit to defeat China, or aliens, or both.”
When asked how he intends to golf in zero gravity, Trump said, “You just do it better. Gravity is fake news anyway.”
More updates to follow, unless we get distracted by something shinier.
